Nat is already asleep, and Silas has been down since 6. I feel like a party animal waiting around for prime time t.v.! These last weeks have been busy, busy, busy. Childcare visits and interviews, doctor and dentist appointments, dinners with friends, playdates with babies,trials runs with nannies/mannies, meetings with employers, stressful and sleepless nights and days...and it all culminated in a decision last night....drum roll, please...
We cannot afford for me to work! Ironic, isn't it? Ive been working like a crazy person to make it work, and when I'd finally collected enough information to run the numbers, it doesn't make any sense financially or otherwise for me to be away from the baby and the house 4 days a week. I'd be coming home with no energy, little quality time with the babe, and like $40 after all is said and done. How nuts is that???? (If I had less of a nursing brain in my skull I'm sure I could launch into some sort of sociological analysis of the failings of the government to offer no help with childcare, the underestimated value of mother's work, and the failings of the feminist movement...but that mind is tired.)
It is the second time I've had to turn down this organization, but amazingly they aren't phased...a good sign if I do decide to go back when we/Silas are more capable of handling a general (aka: cheaper) daycare situation. And I've learned, yet again, (like graduate school) that sometimes you have to actually try out things to see if they're going to work. But now that it is all said and done, I'm still pretty psyched to be able to justify continuing to coddle and wrestle and spend my (sometimes long, sometimes mind-numbing, but always productive) days with my baby-grubs. (And I've learned that I need to stop saying "yes" before I've stopped to examine who is going to benefit.)
Silas and I celebrated our continued security by hiking in the Marin Headlands under sunny skies today...looking out to the ocean for whales and making up songs (Silas has this habit of humming in sing-song when we walk lately.) It was a perfect day. Who'd want to be working? (even in a garden...)
Thursday, January 17
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4 comments:
Huge news Erin!!! Congrats on nailing down a decision, I am sure it was an emotional roller coaster of a ride. I am so glad that you get to spend more time with the little one though. These are the times to be treasured and the organization seems to be really understanding. I'm proud of you my dear.
Wow! The build up! The anticipation! The outcome! I think I was more nervous about your return to work than my own (which starts today...even though I'm up early desperately checking the phone lines for a snow day, to no avail). Cheers for making a decision that's best for all of you! And I hope the volunteering you set up works as your periodic brain recharge. You deserve that too!
whoa! What a ride. Crazyness, eh? Way to make a decision.
and, Happy Birthday! Whoohoo for you!
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