Surgery and a new baby make life move pretty slowly at a rapid pace. I am having difficulty grappling with the speed at which my daily life has becomes mind-blowingly new and different, while at the same time pretty darn tedious. I do pretty much nothing all day, and it is such hard work! I start off the day in bed, breastfeed, burp, change, repeat. Then I sit in a chair and breastfeed, burp, change, repeat. I try to get my teeth brushed and clothes on by noon. I try to spend some time outside. I am exhausted.
Trivial tasks seem like expeditions to me right now. Food, for instance. I woke up dreaming of making banana bread. Right. As if I could sneak the boobs away from the baby long enough to mash and mix and bake such a thing. I have not gone grocery shopping for five weeks, or cooked anything more complicated than a microwave burrito or bowl of cereal since the hospital. I thought it would be a huge thing for me to cede control over food purchases and menus to Nat ("Make sure you feel EACH ONE of the apples for bruises, honey."), and allow folks to bring me food. I got over it pretty fast. I can't IMAGINE going to a grocery store right now, or, for that matter, even trying to put peanut butter on a slice of bread while juggling our son (who will still not stay asleep without being attached to a parent...I can't wait until my incision is healed enough for me to wear him in the sling!) How could I drive? How could I walk all through the store and carry the baby? What if he got hungry? Where would I feed him? How would I load the groceries into the car? I find it amazing when I can leave the baby for five minutes to grab a granola bar and then brush my fuzzy teeth.
Be warned, fellow foodies (as if these missives should prove as birth control), the kitchen gadgets will stand alone for many moons.
How do you people without partners or with other kids do it??
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Oh, Erin ... If I lived closer, surely you would be finding yourself tripping over basketfuls of vegan eats left on your door stoop...
Don't worry! You'll get there, fellow foodie. Starting when my daughter was about five or six months old, I found myself obsessively baking during her naptimes. Other mom friends did and still do question how and why I do it, but I have to for my own sanity. Foodies must eat and must eat well! Cooking provides a creative outlet that I can justify in my oh-so-limited time because we all benefit (and my exhausted self still feels wonderful after eating good food!). I will admit that there was a good year (probably more) when I just wanted to eat out every meal so I wouldn't have to cook or clean up ANYTHING, so you are not alone! You are lucky to have support around you. Use it! From what I can tell from the comments on your blog, your friends are happy to help!
I am duly impressed with both of your talents. I did make banana bread and a roasted beet salad the day after posting. I couldn't handle the thought of bananas and beets. It was tough, but I triumphed (and did the dishes!) and Silas only felt neglected for a few short minutes. I think he forgave me when the bread came through in his milk, though.
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