No, no, no...but yes to bacon

This is rapidly becoming a pregnancy blog, but heck, that's where I'm at lately. This morning, lying in bed with aching legs from a long day on my feet yesterday and a queasy stomach, I was contemplating how sucky early pregnancy has been for me. Beyond the lack of energy, constant nausea and upchucking, and general "who's body is this??" grapplings, I've also had to give up a lot. Brie, for one thing., which is a BIG thing in our household. Tuna, for another...the one and only sandwich I like. The Banned From Pregnancy list is comprehensive: no soft cheeses, no lunch meats or deli foods, no alcohol, no swordfish, mackerel, or tuna. No sushi, no undercooked meat, no handling meat. No raw root vegetables (that toxoplasmosis thing again), cut the coffee, stop the chocolate, no gardening without gloves, no lifting heavy things, no cleaning up after your cats. No paint fumes, no hair dye, no fingernail polish, and no even walking into a nail salon (my poor, scratchy, pedicure-less heels.) No hot tubs, no long showers, no long bike rides. Nevermind the other stuff I feel guilty about exposing myself to...the times I've had to use rubber cement to affix signs and finish art projects at work during the first trimester. The copier toner I inhale running off letters and teaching packets and lessons. The formaldehyde infused sharks I dissected with the older kids this summer when I didn't want anyone to know I was pregnant. The artificial colors and flavors the poor fetus gets exposed to almost daily as a result of my ceaseless sugar and carbonation cravings. I never drink soda, and now I want it all the time. Sparkling water and juice seems to hot the same spot, but the cravings have me dreaming of Coke. I've also given up my semi-veg status and gone whole hog on the meat eating to boost my protein intake and curb the sickness - I always thought pregnancy would be when I would be the best vegetarian I could be - no processed anything, no sugar, 8 servings of beans a day, a soymilk resurgence. Instead, I find that I can't possibly stomach the amount of legumes and even dairy it would take to reach the mythic 75 grams of protein I'm supposed to be getting, and I've turned towards animals. Luckily I'm in California and have access to the hormone/antibiotic-free, less impact variety, but still, it seems a bit of a letdown. I wanted to be a study in pregnancy perfection, I suppose - the glowing, robust, energetic, healthy model of a balanced, holistic baby bakery. Yet, the minutiae and the complexity of what can impact this baby is overwhelming and permeates absolutely everything I do. There is no way to avoid all of it, or to even be aware of most of it. And yet, even with the occasional coke icee, I've got to trust that I am doing the best that I can, and that the kid will be fine.. And if it isn't, well, it may not be the bacon's fault. Time to roll with the changes and accept (with heavy resistance) the limitations, good lessons for every parent.